by Karen Maleck-Whiteley
I know most of you have heard by now about Carol and I updating our pictures. If not, I know you can see one of the wonderful shots we got right here on this newsletter. This was something we had discussed doing for quite some time, as we had become increasingly uncomfortable with the old pictures we used professionally.
Karen's old look
I picked the word uncomfortable on purpose. The old pictures were not bad pictures. In fact, we really loved them when we had them done, and felt they captured who we were and did a pretty good job of projecting the image we wanted to possible clients. The problem now is we aren’t those people anymore. As I thought about this, and the experience we had taking the new shots, I realized there is so much to the notion of our image, and that I am smack in the middle of sorting out what mine is and needs to be.
Our image is so much more than our looks, our race, our hairstyle, features, weight, the color of our eyes, how we photograph and how we move. It is how we look to those who love us, and those who have never met us. It is the impression we make and the feeling we give others. It is often the accumulation of who we think we should be, who we are afraid we are, who we have been told we are, the roles we play, what we do for a living, the organizations we join, the possessions we have, and where we live. It is impacted by our choices in life, our regrets, our joys, our moods. I think of all of this as Image with a capital “I”.
Karen New Shot #1
When we had these pictures taken, it was interesting to notice that both of were pleasantly surprised by them. I think I expected to see myself looking older (how I see me in the mirror up close), less attractive, heavier – you know the “10 pounds” the camera adds, which, believe me, I don’t need. When I think about it now, I am not sure what I was expecting to see, but when she showed us the pictures, we looked like we were having fun, we looked like really good versions of us, and we even looked – dare I say it – pretty. I won’t speak for Carol, but I’ve not felt like that girl a lot in my life.
Of course, I immediately gave all the credit to Janelle, who I do believe is very skilled at taking shots that bring out the best in people. At the same time, I am aware that she does have to have something to work with.
All that being said, when I look at the pictures now, I am still struck by the mystery of what my Image really is. What do I want it to be? The last few years it’s been variously all at the same time (and not in any particular order): mother, wife, ex-Disney executive, spa owner, hypnotherapist, gift card program consultant, blogger, self-help product producer, business partner, boss, Zonta member, committee chair, Foundation president, pet owner, caretaker for my mother, friend, sister, artist, chaperone, fitness boot camp instructor and coach, fund-raiser, event planner, and, I am sure, more. No wonder I don’t know who I really am.
For the 100 Day Challenge, I am committed to picking an image to go with that is closer to the REAL ME. One that suits me, and that is not dictated by my circumstances, my need to please others, my aversion to saying “no”, or my love of being all things to all people. This may very well be one of the bravest things I have ever done, since part of my image all along has been doing what people think I should do, and always wanting to do it with a partner. I know now that, although I may get input on this one, the final word this time has to be mine. My happiness depends on it.
Don’t worry – you don’t have to be as heavy about this as I sound right now (and I definitely want to figure out how to have fun be part of who I REALLY am). I’ve included a tip this month for exploring this topic, and a great podcast to help you focus on the image you want to create.
I’d also like to ask those of you who know me to send me an e-mail with what you think my greatest assets are. I encourage you to do this with all your good friends – don’t assume they know. And be sure to ask for the favor in return.
You can see my old shot (dark hair, suit jacket above ) and two of the new ones (above right and below).
Karen New Shot #2