by Carol Woodliff
Recently I committed to putting excerpts from one of my speeches on video. Three days before the shoot while driving to meet the director for a rehearsal, my mind was saying things like: “I’m not ready. If I only had another week to prep. If only I had lost 15 pounds. Maybe I should just cancel this and do it later.” I walked in to meet the director and he asked, “Are you ready?” I said, “I don’t know. I guess we’ll see, won’t we?” We ran through the presentation and the director said, “If everyone was as prepared as you I wouldn’t need to do these meetings before the shoot.” As I drove home, I thought of how close I had come to canceling that day because I was afraid the speech could not live up to my vision of the way it was supposed to be.
Okay I admit it. I have many perfectionistic tendencies and grand visions for my business and my life. Perhaps you do too. The only problem with grand visions is, as the cliché says, “Rome wasn’t built in a day!” When we judge our initial efforts against the grand vision, we often feel like our efforts aren’t good enough. When we expect to make the transition from never having done something to being an expert in one big leap, we often can’t move because we don’t know how to take that big jump. We are paralyzed from taking any reasonable step in the direction of the vision.
Think about learning to ride a bike. As a child, you probably saw others riding a bike and you wanted to ride like them. But the process of learning to ride without training wheels steadily without wobbling and falling took time. The vision of riding like others kept you trying till one day, it was second nature. Children are much more accustomed to failing as they master a new skill. Babies learn to walk by taking a few steps and falling and then trying again. As adults, we forget those critical lessons learned in failing or just doing something at a basic level of competence. We want to jump to excellent right away.
Almost any big change we want to make in life requires us to accept that we have to be able to do the new task poorly and then at an okay level before we can do it well.
By committing to the process of getting my speech on tape, I allowed myself to learn and grow. The final product is not the grand vision I have in mind for my speaking career in the future, but it is a start and that is okay. By pushing through the “I’m not ready” syndrome, I now have something to show to corporations who want to see me in action, which can lead to higher fees and more referrals. Actually that is more than okay-it is terrific.
If you are stuck moving forward on a project, ask yourself: What part of this project doesn’t have to be perfect? What part could just be okay? Allow yourself to do something-anything badly. Then notice what happens to your energy level. Do you feel more inspired to keep working now that you’ve cut yourself a little slack? Do you feel inspired to go back and make those “badly done” parts better? Letting go of that need to be ready and to do everything well before you act can help you take amazing strides forward.